‘Commitment issues‘ is such a grey term. Either people sweep it aside or throw it, around while a few are not even aware of it being a thing. Remember Alia bhatt from Dear Zindagi?
What does having commitment issues really mean?
Simply put, it’s the fear of commiting yourself to a relationship. A person facing this issue, finds it difficult to commit himself/herself to their partner. Many who are a little aware of this, term it as cold feet before marriage. Well, I’d say it’s bigger than that. Having cold feet before mariage could be said to be a part of it but cannot entirely be it.
Reasons for this issue
Putting it off by tagging it as just a phase would be very ignorant. When suffering from pain in your limbs, you don’t get rid of the limbs but get to the root cause of the pain and get rid of whatever is causing it. (I know, a clichéd example) well, same goes for this.
Let’s get to the root of this.
Carrying the burden of your past:
One foot in the future and one foot in the past is always going to lead to mayhem. The best and the most permanent solution to this is to move on, however slow. Make peace with your past, do whatever it takes to do that, is all I can suggest here.
Scared of being vulnerable:
Letting go of your inhibitions is a difficult task for most of us. The world or let’s say the social media is time and again pressurizing us to be our perfect selves. I get it. But we are all imperfect beings and accepting that is only going to lead to better things.
Unhealthy relationship& the fear of being in one:
You give up on a relationship, not because of problems that are present but because of problems that you think might crop up? This is definitely a sign of having commitment issues. This could rise from the fact that failed relationships of your close ones have an impact you. The only solution to this is to talk it out and communicate with your partner.
Labels give you the chills:
Being tagged as someone’s BF/GF/significant other should not make you uncomfortable if you’ve been seeing each other for a long time. And if that does give you a certain feeling of uneasiness then, this might be a sign of certain commitment issues. Don’t ignore it. Tackle it.
Constant search for something better:
How do I know that he’she is the one? Am I settling for less? These kind of questions cropping in your head is normal. But do you see yourself caught in a pattern of constantly hopping into new relationships because you think that the later is/was better than the previous? If yes, then this is a little worrisome.
Overcoming these issues on your own
- Nobody is perfect. Accept and emrace this fact.
- Relationships may or may not work. But it is not always necessary that it will fail. If you think you are following a pattern that may lead to the relationship not working out, then try to do things differently. Give the relationship a chance to survive.
- The present is what you must focus on. Think of the now. Think of what is good and bad for the relationshi pthat you are in now.
- Communicate. Communication seems to be the key to so many barriers. Try to make use of it.