a couple in a cafe enjoying coffee- To Meet or Not To Meet Is The Question- blog.marwadishaadi.com

Gotto meet. 6.30 the usual place.

That’s the text I got from Riddhi while I was at work. How I hate such cliffhangers! Sneaking away 10 minutes early from work, I was at our usual cafe waiting for my friend. Sending such texts and being late didn’t complement each other too well. However, my plans of  antagonize her for it evaporated with that smug look on her face.

What ensued later was an uber expressive tale of how she had to endure a three-hour long meeting with a boy her parents had found for her to get settled with. Her problem didn’t stem from the fact that her parents were trying to get her married, it was the fact that she thrown into the situation out of the blue. Her point being, I wasn’t ready for the meeting and the talk with a stranger.

I get that, maybe not entirely, but I think I do. Keeping her story aside, if such an event were to arise in my life, the least I would expect from myself and the guy is to be clear in our heads. If you’re meeting me from an arranged marriage point of view, you better not be caught up in maybes and could bes. This applies to almost every aspect of life that should matter.

Going back to Riddhi’s meeting fiasco, I asked her the most clichéd question that she must’ve answered so many times now- “why weren’t you ready for it?” After an exaggerated eye roll she said, “where do I start? I’m ok with the entire idea of settling down. But I haven’t given a thought about things that should matter to me, haven’t prioritized yet. I know the traits I’m looking for in my partner but I have no idea about what I expect from a relationship. My career is a different thing altogether. Eveything seems like a porridge in my head right now.”

Everything that she said hit me hard, in a refreshing way, gave me a peep into the thought process I was droning on about. It also led to so many new questions. Do they all decide on their priorities or do they discover the same along the way? Does everyone think of all these aspects which are hounding my friend? If not, why?

So many questions in the same line that I feel I will gain answer to only if and when I go through the entire hodge-podge.

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