Society seems to have graced us with gender roles. The pressure of fulfilling these said roles is immense on both the genders. Yes, you heard me right, BOTH the genders. The array of pressure runs in opposite directions. Women face shallow, superficial pressures which are enraging to a whole different level, whereas men face the pressure of being strong, the sole breadwinner, successful, not be the ‘woman’ in the relationship, so on and so forth.
Have you ever come across these #CoupleGoals posts on the social media and found yourself being hurled against the tides of wishful thinking?!
Have you ever wondered how a coupegoals’ post can invoke some uncalled for jealousy against the persons in such posts?
To be honest, I have, or, precisely speaking used to find myself doing that. But all of it has very gracefully transformed into indifference or a meek snort with laughter. The moment you see such posts, the first thing that we automatically tend to do is compare our partners to them.
How that guy takes her for dinners at exotic places, showers her with gifts, shows so much commitment on social media, so on and so forth. This is so unfair towards our partners. To give them their credit, they’re well aware of these very tendencies which prompts them to up their game.
Ladies, imagine being constantly compared to a social media fantasy. Being pitted against something or someone that makes them believe that their best is nowhere close to raised expectations.
There are no qualms in raising the bar, but, a line needs to be drawn somewhere. The problem isn’t with our raised expectations but with these posts is that gives us the idea that this is what a normal relationship looks like. And what’s the problem in this?! Well, to put it visually, the couple is having dinner on the beach with all the aesthetics that would make it your goal. And what is normal anyway? My normal might not be your definition of normal and same goes for the millions out there.
There are no qualms in raising the bar, but, a line needs to be drawn somewhere. Let’s not confuse raising the bar with the bull dozing of pressure.
To add to these woes is the issue of social media commitment. Why has it become necessary for your partner to scream about how committed he is to you from every social media rooftop? What we’ve forgotten is that a commitment is between two people in a relationship and not between two people and their 500 other Facebook friends.
I know I’ve raised too many questions and jumbled your thoughts. But if you think that I will also be providing the much needed solutions to these questions, then, sorry to burst your bubble but I won’t be doing anything of that sort.
That’s not because I would want you to look for the answers yourselves or introspect or anything, it’s as simple as I haven’t got the answers. The only solution that I see to this problem is to not treat it like a problem at all. Stop comparing, stop judging, treat these posts as any other post and stop yourself from wishing to have that.
Cherish what you’ve got for what you’ve got is real, the couple in these posts, real or not are not you and your guy, they’re some random people with a hazy sense of goals for it is not what your partner solely puts in, it is what you BOTH build together that should be tagged as goals.
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